Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Great Divide

"Are you out of your mind? What's wrong with you? You have a good job in this economy, and you just want to throw it away? Don't you know how easy you have it? Are you going to be able to find a job?"

I guess so.
I guess not.
I don't know.

Looking back, not much has changed in the past 10 years in regards to my relationship with my mom. She still treats me as if I'm 13 years old and just entering high school. Even though I've been living on my own the past three years and have been quite self-sufficient, she still lectures me on how I'm "supposed" to live my life. Now, I can be quite the smartass and know-it-all when I want to be, but I don't claim to know everything. What I do know is how to cook, clean, eat properly, work, save money, do my taxes, and everything else "normal" functioning adults do. However, it never escapes my mom to tell me every time we talk to eat fruit & vegetables, cook instead of eating out, save at least 10% of every paycheck, and now, to look for a job when I'm in Australia.

No mom, I only eat meat and fat, I eat out every day, I live paycheck to paycheck, and I plan on doing absolutely nothing when I'm in Australia. I'm an irresponsible and helpless little kid with no ability to handle anything on my own.

I understand that our parents want what's best for us, but what they don't understand is what's best for us isn't what they think is best for us, but something we should discover on our own. I suppose they can claim life experience and can try to shelter us from any hardships they've gone through, but damn it, life is not only a learning experience for everyone, it's also different for everyone. What works for you, might not work for someone else. I don't want to live in a safe bubble out of my control, or live my life a certain way because that's what I'm told to do or what everyone else is doing. I want to find out on my own through trial and error so I can see for myself that maybe, just maybe they've been right all along and I was an idiot to doubt them.

My parents worked very hard to give my sister and I a comfortable life and because of that I am forever grateful. The drawback to that is I don't fully appreciate everything that I have. I've never had to experience what it's like not knowing where my next meal is coming from, or what it's like to grow up in a one-room house with 8 other people like my mom has. Because of that, I feel like a spoiled, ungrateful bitch. My parents sacrificed so much, and I don't fully grasp what they've had to go through. I hope this endeavor I'm undertaking helps me open my eyes and helps me become a better son in the long run. I'm almost at the age that my parents came over to the US (really blows my mind), and I can only hope that I can accomplish just as much as they did.

DC has been my home the past three years. While it's a wonderful place, it's not for me at this stage in my life. It still hasn't hit me that I'm leaving in a few short days, but when it does, I'm sure I'll be at a loss for words.

Until then,

To Mom, Dad and Cindy, I never say this (maybe only twice my whole life) but I love you and want you all to know that I will be alright. If it's one thing I've learned from living in America it's optimism (though Mom, you are the antithesis to optimism and a total worrywart.)

To my friends and brothers, I've had the time of my life with you all and I will forever cherish the memories we've shared. You've all put a smile on my face and I only hope that I've returned the favor. This is not the end of our time together, and I'm sure we will cross paths soon once again. Please visit, my door will always be open.

To Australia, bitch you're mine.


At August 21, 2010 at 11:20 AM , Blogger Justin said...

A Taiwanese American friend of mine once told me that our parents took a huge risk coming to America to give us a better life. Their risk has paid off. So why do we force ourselves to play it safe?

Good luck.

At August 23, 2010 at 2:10 PM , Blogger Care said...

haha, love this post, probably because i know all too well.... i experience a similar thing with my dad, who tells me at the end of our conversations to "remember to exercise". i just reply, "dad, do you not remember that i love to run and do it regularly? if you need to tell me that, then rest of our family is doomed." i'm glad you're blogging, it'll be a good way for us to keep track of you, crazy man. i didn't get to say goodbye to you, but hopefully i can tell you and say hello the next time we see each other in person. :)

At August 24, 2010 at 12:46 PM , Blogger Amy said...

cool, finally made it to your blog. this post is the reason why you were packing until 3 a.m. on friday. puahaha.
the distance between australia and michigan in 2010 is way less than the distance between taiwan and america in 1980. thanks to skype! so yeah, no point in getting emotional over these distances anymore.
i like to view my parents' naggings as colloquial interjections, equivalent to valley girl's "like, totally", canadian's "eh", and singaporean's "lah!".
consequently, i no longer perceive them as nagging! it's been great for my anger management. ^_^
kudos to you! you are special, you are loved, just in case china airlines has a problem.


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